MOTIVATION

I AM MOTIVATED BY WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR AND WILL NEVER FIND. I AM MOTIVATED BY THE PACIFIC OCEAN. I AM MOTIVATED BY NOT BEING DEAD. I AM MOTIVATED BY THE CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN. I AM MOTIVATED BY ONE DAY FINDING PEACE. I AM MOTIVATED BY MY POTENTIAL. I AM MOTIVATED BY NOT BREAKING PROMISES TO MYSELF. I AM MOTIVATED BY NOT BREAKING MY WORD TO OTHER PEOPLE. I AM MOTIVATED BY MY INADEQUACY. I AM MOTIVATED BY YOUR INADEQUACY. I AM MOTIVATED BY EVERYTHING CHOPPED AND EVERYTHING SCREWED. I AM MOTIVATED BY MCDONALDS WORKERS SURVIVING RENT IN MANHATTAN. I AM MOTIVATED BY HONESTY. I AM MOTIVATED BY GREED. I AM MOTIVATED BY NARSISSISM. I AM MOTIVATED BY ATTENTION. I AM MOTIVATED BY SEEING MY HEROES GROW FAT AND SOFT AND POLISHED. I AM MOTIVATED BY FLOWERS. I AM MOTIVATED BY THE IDEA OF A LEGACY. I AM MOTIVATED BY THE ACTIONS OF WEAKNESS THAT I SEE AMONGST BIGGER ARTISTS. I AM MOTIVATED BY BLOOD IN THE WATER. I AM MOTIVATED BY HITTING A HOMERUN. I AM MOTIVATED BY FREEDOM. I AM MOTIVATED BY BEING ELBOWED IN SUBWAYS. I AM MOTIVATED BY BEING KICKED OUT OF SCHOOLS, KICKED OUT OF STUDIOS, KICKED OUT OF ART SHOWS. IM MOTIVATED BY THE SKY. IM MOTIVATED BY WILLEM DEKOONINGS FIRST SOLO SHOW. IM MOTIVATED BY MICHAEL JORDANS EXTRA HOURS SHOOTING FREETHROWS. IM MOTIVATED BY MIKE TYSONS OBSESSION WITH PERFECTION. IM MOTIVATED BY LIL BS NONSTOP BOMBARDMENT OF CONTENT. IM MOTIVATED BY TOO SHORT SLANGING RAP ALBUMS OUT OF HIS TRUNK FOR 20 YEARS. I AM MOTIVATED BY THE PERFECT GESTURE OF OLD MAN AND THE SEA BY EARNEST HEMINGWAY. I AM MOTIVATED BY THE PERFECT GESTURE OF HOWL BY ALLEN GINSBERG. I AM MOTIVATED WILLIAM BURROUGHS HOT DOPE FREE FLOW POETIC WAXINGS. I AM MOTIVATED BY DMXS PRAYERS. I AM MOTIVATED BY ABSIS MINASS BLOG. I AM MOTIVATED BY STEVE ROGGENBUCKS SENSE OF DUTY. I AM MOTIVATED BY ALL WEST COAST G SHIT. I AM MOTIVATED BY THE WIND. I AM MOTIVATED BY THE REDICULOUSNESS OF AGE BASED HIERARCHY. I AM MOTIVATED BY LOVE. I AM MOTIVATED BY RICH SPOILED SOFT MAMAS BOY ARTISTS THAT HAVE NO JUICE AND GOT PASSED THE SILVER SPOON AND FEEL REAL PROUD OF THEMSELVES. IM MOTIVATED BY RESPECT EARNED. I AM MOTIVATED BY THE SMELL OF GRASS. I AM MOTIVATED BY MOUNTAINS. I AM MOTIVATED BY RULES.  I AM MOTIVATED BY THE EASE AT WHICH RULES CAN BE BROKEN. I AM MOTIVATED BY THE MAN. I AM MOTIVATED BY MY ENEMIES. I AM MOTIVATED BY BEING A BETTER MAN THAN MY FATHER. I AM MOTIVATED BY TUPAC AND THE FUCK BUTTONS AND THE SONIC YOUTH AND ONEOHTRIX POINT NEVER AND ROBERT DEBOIS AND NOT GIVING A FUCK AND BEETHOVEN DESTROYING HIS PIANO WITH AN AXE AND JOHN BALDESSARI DESTOYING 14 YEARS WORTH OF PAINTINGS. I AM MOTIVATED BY FEAR AND HOPE AND NOT BEING A PUSSY. I AM MOTIVATED BY SUPER BASS. I AM MOTIVATED BY TWITTER. I AM MOTIVATED BY LONGEVITY. I AM MOTIVATED BY BURNOUT. I AM MOTIVATED BY MASTERS DEGREES. I AM MOTIVATED BY THE BANDWAGON. I AM MOTIVATED BY MYSELF.

ANDREW BIRK

2013                                                                                                    

AN APPLICATION LETTER TO USC

I don’t let myself like art. If I like it I treat it like carrion and pick it apart so hard and fast that there’s nothing left for me to enjoy of it. How dare these ideas be in my mind. Art is a fucking equation that needs solving so we can be rid of it and enjoy our life like a normal godinez. I don’t let myself like my art. Liking my art would lead to being satisfied with my art and then what the fuck would I do with my life? Work at a marketing firm in New York City? Wear corduroy pants? This work is important. Or it can be. Or it might be. Or it will be. But that doesn’t create satisfaction, just more initiative to solve the equation. People say they like these pieces because they think the same things but wouldn’t think to construct art out of these thoughts. I make these pieces because I don’t know how to pick them apart or classify them. I don’t know what category they fall under. They rupture a lot of things. Play this work at Zona Maco on stadium speakers and watch those papalords go running for the hills of Reforma. I don’t trust artists who are enamored with their work; in pictures on the internet smiling smugly in front of their shit design under a florescent light in a button up shirt. How can Fernando Romero have such a dope house and invite such losers to his house. I wonder what this piece will amount to, will it be a problem for you that it’s so about me? A whole generation has been inspired by that played out photographer who’s taken theatrical self-portraits for 20 years. What’s her name? Hasn’t she milked that cow long enough? I liked Isaac Muñoz’s idea for artists to do standup comedy. Brilliant. That’s changing the approach  to making art, not just using the latest technology to make the latest same old shit. After The End Of Art caliber thinking. If you are preoccupied with telling jokes in your art, cut the shit and tell jokes, what do you need the art for? Shoutout Richard  Prince. Shoutout twenty-something neo-hippies from Connecticut. Do you think that Daniel Buren now only clings to stripes out of fear? Humans lie humans fuck up its okay to go against the hasty promises of your youth. I put blinders on when I look at art. I don’t want to see anything. I just want to strip the ideas off the bones. I like walking through the Metropolitan Museum of Art listening to gangster rap thinking about my art and only my art. As if my art is the only real art in the world. As if my brain and ideas are insurmountable. As if I could see the hottest shit going and it wouldn’t penetrate. I am not open I am closed. I don’t want a single one of your ideas to enter my brain. I know it’s a brilliant idea if it finally drills through my defenses and into my temple. Sometimes it takes years to burrow through. I tried to think about my art during a Fuck Buttons concert at the Mercury Lounge on Bowery and that music obliterated me. I need my art to do that!  I was pissed off yesterday when I realized that spending 30 hours at an art fair influenced its way into my writing. How dare it. I badly hung bad art for a nice man from Stockholm with bad taste. I have never seen a gallerist so slumped over in defeat. It was mortifying. Usually they are better at lying to themselves. What am I going to do when I enter the art fair circuit? How is my sense of self going to take that blow? And surely and absolutely I will not be allowed to do something fucked up. Or smart. Or good. It will be some shitty tight little spray painted paintings on canvas maybe linen. This is a huge fear of mine. Speaking of fear let’s talk about Gabriel Orozco. Let’s talk about how fear shrinks your little balls into nothing. Let’s talk about being scared of young people who have less to lose than you and who don’t give a fuck more than you.  I was taking a shower meditating imagining a confrontation with Gabriel Orozco. Do you think he’s ever been punched in the face? That’s an important question to ask yourself of today’s artists. What could Gabriel possibly say to me? “I don’t know who you are?” I have NO IDEA what kind of art Gabriel Orozco makes. Do you guys like it? Is it good? Would he tell me I’m poor so I don’t matter? Id tell him he is too barren and forsaken how can he possibly speak for humanity? A new rule in art is that: You don’t tell me that I matter, I tell you that I matter. And if I can dictate why I, someone, matters, then I can dictate whether or not you matter. Don’t tell me to stop getting caught up in politics and arguments. I have juice because I say so. This is art. I just can’t fathom making the same type of work as rich dumb internet artists who read get rich quick books for art tips. I put a 10 minute loop of Drake singing “you looking good girl, goodgoodgoodgood girl, gogogogo get it girl” on Felipe Ehrenberg’s facebook event page for his latest piss poor effort. When an old washed up artist wakes up in the morning and washes his face and stares deeply into the bloodshot grey eyes in the mirror— what does he think? I wish someone would tell me. I’ll be sitting in the same chair one day. I hope I have the grace and dignity to sit there and watch the waves roll in. I am a fucking asshole. I don’t blame him, but game over. I don’t blame any of you, but game over: An Application Letter To USC

ANDREW BIRK

2013

THE END

I will build up a massive curriculum vitae and brand-name driven primary and secondary market value and then destroy everything. Destroy my work, my name, my dignity, my relationships, my legacy; everything. Just squeeze the detonator. My great opus. Humility was never mine but hubris always was and Ill capitalize on that. Time for my wings to melt off and to fall into the ocean. My mom and my therapist(s) will turn out to be right in the end. I will see my downfall coming, sliding down the mountain toward me, I will taste it in my mouth like next-day cocaine in the nasal passage or the blood of a bit lip. All those media contacts Ill have leveraged over the years, all those institutional relationships and hangers-on wont revitalize my fading inspiration, my detachment, my irreverence towards the next generations artists and issues, Ill become unable to communicate to the contemporary human. A living memory. Not even factory-fabricated intern-assisted federal-government-financed projects will keep me afloat. I’ll be a ghost. Ill tell the media I’m quitting Art. I’ll try gardening and being a family man, unsuccessfully. A year later, anxious, bewildered, Lorazepam, Ill return to work, I’ll have to. After decades of acclaim and flashes and emails and interviews I’ll be a junkie. I won’t have had a good idea in two decades but I’ll keep the press rolling. Floundering, drowning miserably in narcissism. The Emperor’s new clothes. Ill become violently indignant. Ill lash out. Ill burn what few of my bridges were left standing. All those years of drinking and drugging and slugging my way through contractually obligated art events will have caught up. I’ll be no more than a shell of who I was when art meant something to me. Running on fumes. It will feel less and less worthwhile to wake up in the morning. In a Custer’s last stand of sorts, Ill flood the market with a bunch of ego-driven punch-drunk gasps, homages to my early ideas and intensity. My press and fans will dry up and blow somewhere else, even the naïve students will cease to approach  me. I’ll be alone with nothing, as I entered this world. I’ll let go. I’ll stop. The weight will be released. I’ll die. The prices will level out and begin to inch their way up and up in blue-chip fashion. The high school acquaintances that collected my first works and the nameless fulltime caregivers that stole my last works will get rich beyond measure at the auction block. Major permanent collections will fight over my estate. Over time people will forget about the last dirty ugly years. 

ANDREW BIRK

2013

WHAT IS THE BEST ATTITUDE WITH WHICH TO APPROACH BEING AN ARTIST? MAKING ART? HAVING A CAREER? WHAT IS THE MOST EFFECTIVE PERSONALITY TYPE? WHAT TRAITS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT? ARE WE REALLY TO BELEIVE THAT HAVING VISON, CONSTANT FLOW OF IDEAS, AWARENESS, TENACITY, TECHNICAL ABILITY, ETC, ARE ENOUGH? IS HAVING A CLEAR IDEA OF YOUR BRAND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING? IS CONFUSION ALLOWED? IS IGNORANCE BLISS? IS IT BEST NOT TO GIVE PEOPLE EXPECTATIONS? IS IT BEST TO MANIPULATE YOUR AUDIENCE INTO THINKING YOU DONT CARE? IS IT BETTER TO STICK TO ONE THING? TO BECOME A MASTER? ITS IT BETTER TO BE A JACK OF ALL TRADES? TO USE A FEW MEDIUMS IN THE SAME WAY SO THEY CAN ACCOMPANY EACHOTHER SEEMLESSLY IN A SOLO SHOW? IS IT BETTER TO DO WHATEVER COMES TO MIND? SHOULD AN ARTIST EXPOSE THEIR CONFUSION, LAPSES, DRY SPELLS, WRONG TURNS, AND FAILURES, OR SHOULD THESE FALLACIES BE SWEPT UNDER THE RUG, INSTEAD PROMOTING YOURSELF AS A FULLY-ATTACHED FULLY-SENTIENT SELF-AWARE SMOOTHLY-TRANSITIONING FORWARD-MOVING OMNIPOTENT BEING? IS IT ALLOWED TO LET YOUR AUDIENCE KNOW THAT YOU ARE SCARED AND UNSURE OR DOES THAT DAMAGE YOUR STOCK? IS IT BEST TO WIN ALL ARGUMENTS? IS IT BEST TO SWEEP INTO ROOMS FULL OF DEBONAIRE AND LEAVE THEM GUSHING FOR MORE? IS IT BEST TO BE A CRITICS DANDY? IS IT BEST TO BE A PAINTERS PAINTER? IS THE GUISE OF HUMILITY AN EFFECTIVE TACTIC? DOES NAIVETE BRING WITH IT A MUCH NEEDED AIR OF FRESHNESS? SHOULD WE FOCUS ON BEING KIND OF DUMB BUT KIND OF HOT? OR AS PRIMAL BEINGS DRUNK PISSING IN FIREPLACES? IS IT BETTER COME OFF AS UNATTAINABLE BUILDING WALLS AND LAYER AROUND US SO THAT WE ARE NEVER EXPOSED? SHOULD WE ANSWER OUR FACEBOOK MESSAGES? SHOULD WE MAKE PEOPLE AROUND US FEEL STUPID OR SMART OR DISGUSTED OR ELATED? SHOULD WE PRETEND THAT WE ARE SATISFIED AND EASILY PLEASED? CLAY IN YOUR HANDS TO MOLD? SHOULD WE BROWN NOSE CRITICS AND PANDER TO THEIR PENS? SHOULD WE FOCUS ON BEING HONEST TO OURSELVES AT ALL COST? IS IT BEST TO HIDE BEHIND SMOKE AND MIRRORS? SHOULD WE ELIMINATE OUR INTERNET FOOTPRINTS? IS IT BEST TO OVEREXPOSE OURSELVES? TO ALLOW VIEWERS TO WADE THOUGH OUR LIVES AS ARCHIVED BY OUR TWITTER FEEDS POLAROIDED-PARTY-PICS AND STUDIO-MADE OBJECTS? IS IT IMPORTANT TO BE WEARING DIFFERENT CLOTHES EVERY TIME YOU FIND YOURSELF HOLDING A BOTTLE OF PERRIER OR JACK DANIELS OR EL TINIEBLO OR ALACRAN DURING A PHOTOSHOOT OPPORTUNITY? DOES CAUTION HAVE ANY VALUE OR SHOULD WE FLING OURSELVES FROM EVERY AVAILABLE CLIFF? SHOULD WE SHUT OUR BIG MOUTHS? SHOULD WE FEAR AND RESPECT OUR POTENTIAL BUYERS? SHOULD WE BE POLITE AT THE DINNER TABLE? SHOULD WE SHAKE HANDS WITH OUR ENEMIES? SHOULD WE SHOW REPECT TO OUR ELDERS WHILST FUNDAMENDTALLY DISAGREEING WITH THEM? ARE WE COURT JESTERS? SHOULD WE APPEAR DARING AND HILARIOUS WHEN WE HAVE THE AUDIENCE OF POTENTIAL BUYERS? SHOULD WE QUESTION EVERYTHING? SHOULD WE QUESTION NOTHING? SHOULD WE MAINTAIN PARASITIC CASUAL RELATIONSHIPS FOR THE SAKE OF UPWARD MOBILITY? SHOULD WE BE PATIENT OR SHOULD WE BREAK DOWN THE DOOR? DO OUR SOCIAL SKILLS HAVE AS MUCH IMPACT ON OUR CAREERS AS OUR ABILITIES TO MAKE ART? IF WE HAVE AN IMAGE SHOULD WE PROTECT IT OR RUPTURE IT OR SHOULD WE DOUBLE BACK AND VEER OFF IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION? SHOULD WE FIGHT FOR OUR BELIEFS OR WAIT AND HOPE? SHOULD WE TURN THE OTHER CHEEK? SHOULD WE TAKE BAD OPPORTUNITIES SLUNG AT US BECAUSE WE ARE YOUNG AND THEY ARE AVAILABLE? SHOULD WE SPEAK OUT? SHOULD WE SHUT THE FUCK UP? SHOULD WE TONE IT DOWN? SHOULD WE NOT RISK AS MUCH? SHOUD WE RISK MORE? SHOULD WE LISTEN? SHOULD WE JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON? SHOULD WE MAKE AND THINK WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WANT US TO MAKE AND THINK? SHOULD WE FOCUS ON ENTERTAINMENT VALUE? SHOULD WE MAKE FAN SITES FOR OURSELVES AND H8 SITES TOO? SHOULD WE BE MORE CONCERNED WITH DOING BUSINESS OR MAKING GESTURES? IS IRONY EFFECTIVE? WOULD IRONY PROTECT US FROM BEING STRIPPED NAKED DOWN TO WHAT WE REALLY THINK? WOULD HUMOR PROTECT US FROM THE CHOPPING BLOCK OF OUR ACTIONS? DOES WHAT WE THINK REALLY MATTER OR IS THAT OUT OF OUR HANDS? ARE ARTISTS TO ART WHAT MODELS ARE TO FASHION? SHOULD EVERYTHING WE MAKE FIT COMFORTABLY IN A HOUSE OR RESTAURANT OR DOCTORS OFFICE? IS IT CONDONED TO CHANGE YOUR MIND? IS IT TRUE THAT BEAUTY TRUMPS ALL? IS IT IMPORTANT TO TAILOR YOUR MESSAGE TO YOUR AUDIENCE? SHOULD WE GO TO THE MARKET OR SHOULD WE WAIT FOR THE MARKET TO COME TO US? CAN TRUELY EVERYTHING BE SOLD? IS IT BETTER THAT WE PRETEND TO LOVE EVERYTHING THAT WE MAKE? WILL THAT CREATE A UNIFIED FRONT? IS IT BETTER THAT WE ARE HIGHLY CRITICAL OF EVERYTHING INCLUDING OURSELVES? IS BEING A YOUNG ARTIST IN ANY WAY A DETRIMENT? WHEN WE ARE OLD WILL WE ACCEPT THINGS MORE AND FIGHT BACK LESS? WILL WE REGRET BEING SO TEMPESTUOUS? IS IT BETTER TO WORK FROM OUTSIDE OR INSIDE THE INSTITUTION? IS IT BETTER TO TRUST OR BE SKEPTICAL? DOES AN ARTIST WITH MORE MONEY GENERALLY HAVE MORE POTENTIAL TO MAKE IMPACTFUL WORK? IS AN ARTIST WITH MONEY GENERALLY A BETTER ARTIST THAN AN ARTIST WITH NO MONEY? IS IT BETTER TO MAKE A SMALL BODY OF HIGHLY CONSIDERED WORK OR A HUGE BODY OF IMMEDIATE AND GROTESQUE WORK? IS A SMARTER PERSON A BETTER ARTIST? WILL WE HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT OUR WORK FOR OTHERS TO UNDERSTAND IT? WILL SOMEONE HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT OUR WORK FOR OTHERS TO LIKE IT? WILL OUR WORK HAVE TO BE SOLD FOR OTHERS TO RESPECT IT? HOW DO WE IMPROVE? ARE OUR FATES SEALED? IS THERE A CUTOFF OR A DEADLINE OR A SIGN WE SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR THAT WILL TELL US IF WEVE MADE IT OR NOT? IF WE BELEIVE DEEPLY IN OUR WORK DOES THAT MEAN ITS GOOD?

ANDREW BIRK, 2013.